Baby, Don't Hurt Me
by DLHKM
Summary: "Dean is...in love with me?" Gabriel nods, tossing a handful of rainbow-colored candies ('Skittles', he remembers) into his mouth, "He's dying to hop aboard the Castiel train." Destiel. T for adult themes.


**A/N: To be clear, this is an AU that has alive!Gabriel step in and return the souls to Purgatory before the Leviathans can get out. So all the Leviathan messiness has been averted, and Raphael has been dealt with. Gabriel's head honcho.  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. **

**Edit: Added some stuff; fixed a few typos.**

* * *

Castiel gripped Dean tight and raised him from Perdition.

The instant he laid a hand on that battered soul, Castiel knew that Dean was different. His Grace wrapped around the soul, reforming him, restoring him, and Castiel _knew_ Dean Winchester.

Green eyes and keeping a stiff upper lip and _Sammy_, _Sammy_, _Sammy_. Obeying his father, losing his father, resenting his father. Giving everything and receiving nothing in return. _Angels are watching over you_ and _are they really?_ and loss. Losing Mary, losing Cassie, losing John, losing Sammy. Losing hope. Resignation and telling himself sex is _all_ he wants and _honor_. So much bravery and selflessness and such a sharp eye. Pushing people away because _trust leads to hurt._ Always. Led Zeppelin and ACDC and the Impala. Magic fingers and pie and burgers.

_Dean Winchester. _

And Castiel was intrigued.

Dean is flawed and insecure and scarred and paranoid, but more than anything Dean is _good_. Dean saves people, and puts his own desires aside to do so.

Castiel wants to save Dean.

So he comes when Dean calls and trusts Dean and protects him as much as he can from the dangers they face.

And somewhere in the midst of the fighting and scrambling for solutions to their problems, Castiel feels something _more_.

He doesn't register this shift until Sam brings it to his attention.

"Want me to get you a lollipop or something, Cas?" Castiel frowns at the implication that he is an infant, though his gaze softens in response to Dean's next words, "Think they sell burgers, actually..."

Castiel shakes his head, smiling, "No thank you, Dean."

His eyes follow Dean into the convenience store, taking note of his confident swagger and the way he scans the parking lot. Dean is always conscious of his surroundings.

A cough in the front seat, "Cas."

Castiel watches through the glass windows as Dean heads to the back of the store. He shifts to look at Sam only when Dean is out of sight, "Yes, Sam?"

Sam's body is twisted towards him, which means that whatever he wishes to discuss is of import, and the opening and closing of his mouth means he is struggling to express himself.

Or, at least Castiel believes so.

The Winchesters have been educating him about human mannerisms for some time now. Castiel knows he has made progress (_Dean claps him on the back, "Nice one, Cas."_), but he has not yet mastered the topic, nor does he think he ever will; popular culture is a seemingly endless area (_"We'll add it to the list." Dean replies when Castiel asks him who the Godfather is and why others harass him on the day of his daughter's wedding_), and sarcasm is difficult to catch.

"Cas." Sam says again, more sure of himself, "Do you _like_ Dean?"

Castiel stares at Sam for a moment. Why would this question be so difficult for him to ask? Is Sam doubting his loyalty?

"Dean is my friend." Castiel replies slowly, feeling a bit offended, "Do you doubt my loyalty, Sam?"

Sam shakes his head and puts his hands up defensively, "Not at all!" He glances towards the store before continuing, "What I meant was...do you have romantic feelings towards Dean?" Sam continues, seeing Castiel's puzzled expression, "How do you feel when Dean hooks up with a girl?"

Castiel remembers the last time Dean chose to spend the night with a woman, leaving Castiel to wait outside. Sam was cheating people at the bar, and would not return for another hour. That hour was...lonely, and Sam's return didn't soothe that loneliness.

"I feel alone." Castiel informs Sam solemnly, "It's quite unpleasant."

Sam nods understandingly, "Would you like it if he stopped hooking up with those girls?"

Castiel doesn't hesitate, "It pleases Dean."

Sam's smile droops for a moment before he responds gently, "But what about _you_, Cas?"

Loneliness. Loneliness and a desire to spend as much time with Dean as possible and _those women are unworthy of him_.

"I want him to stop." Castiel confesses, confused by his own feelings, "Are these romantic feelings?"

Sam turns to face the front a moment before Dean exits the store. His words come out in a rush, "Think about it, Cas: you gave up everything for Dean, you want to protect him, you want to be around him, you don't like it when he has sex with random women." Sam makes eye contact with Castiel through the rear view mirror, "Sounds like love to me."

Dean opens the door and slides into the Impala, tossing Sam a water bottle.

Castiel knows better than to continue with his and Sam's conversation while Dean is present, so he mulls it over silently for the duration of the journey.

Sam must have meant romantic love when he implied that Castiel loves Dean. But how is he to be sure that he feels that type of love for Dean? Castiel loves Dean as a friend and comrade, but as a lover?

'_Perhaps it would be beneficial to compare Sam and Dean.' _Castiel muses,_ '__They _are_ closest to me.'_

He's very fond of Sam, but prefers Dean's company, and would fight to the death for Dean-he already has. But Castiel would die for Sam as well; Dean would be devastated by the loss of his brother. Sam's dalliances with strange women fail to inspire spurned feelings as Dean's do, and Castiel feels compelled to do whatever Dean desires.

Does his more profound bond with Dean signal romantic feelings? Is this love?

Castiel decides to investigate further.

"I have matters to attend to." Castiel informs his companions before vanishing.

* * *

"What is love?" Castiel asks Gabriel the moment he enters the Archangel's heavenly abode.

Gabriel looks up from what appears to be a board game, his voice wry, "You are _so_ lucky I'm not in a singing mood."

Castiel drifts towards his brother, frustration coating his tone, "I don't understand your reference."

Gabriel rolls his eyes. He disposes of the game with a snap of his fingers and steeples his fingers under his chin, "What can I do you for, Cassie?"

Castiel ignores the accent Gabriel uses, as well as the unfortunate nickname, and asks, "Am I in love with Dean Winchester?"

Gabriel laughs.

The response is unexpected, and Castiel feels his Grace flare at the perceived slight-though he isn't certain Gabriel meant for it to be received that way. Gabriel is a very complicated being; his dramatic flair and unpredictability make him very difficult to read.

But, nonetheless, Castiel doesn't believe that laughing is an appropriate reaction.

A disgruntled expression overtakes Castiel's features.

"Gabriel." He growls, sure that his brother means to mock him when he pretends to wipe away a tear.

Gabriel lets out several more chuckles before his laughter ceases, though his amused smile remains, "Sorry, baby bro. Just never thought _you'd_ be the one to figure it out."

Castiel is halfway through admitting that Sam brought the matter to his attention before he catches onto the implication in Gabriel's statement. He trails off for a moment to process the information before asking (because he has to be sure), "Dean is...in love with me?"

_Dean smiles softly, shaking his head in response to Castiel's bemused look, "Don't change, Cas."_

And Castiel wants it to be true-more than anything, he wants this.

Gabriel nods, tossing a handful of rainbow-colored candies ('_Skittles_', he remembers) into his mouth, "He's _dying_ to hop aboard the Castiel train." Gabriel sighs at Castiel's bemusement, "He wants to be your mate, Castiel."

Castiel smiles slightly, his Grace singing a joyful song at the news. He thinks of Dean, of his gruff exterior and endless jests. Castiel admires him for never allowing hardships to deter him; Dean is a man with a mission, and he is unfaltering. Yes, he has had his doubts, and he's questioned whether he wants to continue with this lifestyle in the past, but his selflessness never allowed him to. Dean is the most giving human Castiel knows of, and Castiel wants to make Dean happy.

Sam's voice echoes in his mind.

_"Sounds like love to me."_

And Castiel has his answer.

"Thank you, brother."

Gabriel puffs up a bit at the title (Castiel suspects Gabriel is more sentimental than he appears), "No problem, wide eyes."

Castiel hesitates to ask Gabriel for advice, but knows that he must, seeing as he does not know how to proceed. Romantic matters are...unfamiliar to him, and he knows he must be sure-footed if he is to claim Dean as his mate.

Despite Gabriel's certainty that Dean reciprocates his feelings, Castiel is not confident that Dean is aware of his own feelings or willing to act on them at this time. He himself has only now become aware of his love for Dean, and he required assistance to reach this point. He could seek Sam's guidance, but it would be difficult to find time to speak with Sam in private.

He has no other option.

"How should I proceed?" Castiel asks, cringing slightly at Gabriel's overly pleased grin.

"Simple, baby brother." Gabriel replies, resting his feet on the desk before him, "Just tell Dean-o you wanna' jump up on it."

Castiel tilts his head to the side, considering the meaning of Gabriel's words. It takes a moment, but he believes he's reached the correct conclusion, "Is that a sexual innuendo?"

Gabriel snaps his fingers. A trumpet sounds, and confetti rains down on Castiel. He wrinkles his nose and brushes the confetti off his shoulders.

Gabriel claps slowly, "Knew we were on speaking terms for a good reason, Castiel."

"Besides my ability to tolerate you?" Castiel remarks dryly, running a hand through his hair.

Gabriel winks at him, "Very sassy, Cassie."

Castiel frowns as another confetti cloud materializes above him, showering him with more multicolored strips.

He gives himself a rough shake, hissing, "_Gabriel_."

A sigh slips through Gabriel's lips, "Oh, _fine_." Another snap of his fingers and the confetti is cleared away. All traces of humor leave Gabriel's face, "Just tell him, Castiel. I _know_ that chuckle-head feels the same way."

"But how can you be sure?" Castiel asks, voice tinged with nervousness.

He knows Dean. Dean cherishes his friendship, yes, but that wouldn't prevent any awkwardness were he to refuse Castiel. And wouldn't it be better to live in uncertainty than live with the knowledge that Dean doesn't return his feelings?

Castiel doesn't enjoy this flood of emotions; he feels as if he's being pulled every which way, and he doesn't know which route to pursue. He could read Dean's mind and unveil the truth once and for all, but that would be an invasion of privacy, a violation of Dean's trust-Castiel can't betray him again.

Gabriel makes a sweeping gesture, "Uh, hello? Archangel here? Honestly, baby bro, it's like you forget about all of our divine abilities. But anyway," He recovers from his pouty state quickly, as he is wont to do, "you wouldn't _believe_ how much of a sap Dean is! If you could have babies, he'd want 'em."

Castiel doesn't know how to reply to that, so he settles for a flustered glare and a wordless exit.

* * *

"I love you, Dean Winchester." Castiel proclaims as the motel room's door opens.

Instead of Dean's ruggedly handsome visage, however, he is faced with Sam's look of shock.

"Uh..hey, Cas." Sam mutters, stepping aside so Castiel can see into the room, "Dean isn't here."

Castiel steps into the room, his confidence shaken by Dean's unexpected absence.

"But, uh, I'm glad you figured out your feelings." Sam continues, smiling supportively.

Castiel hardly registers Sam's words, "Where's Dean, Sam?"

Sam seats himself on the edge of one of the beds, "Coffee run." He ploughs on, seeing Castiel's shoulders droop, "But he'll be back soon. I'll get another room, give you guys some space."

Castiel nods approvingly, appreciating Sam's kindness, "Thank you, Sam." Castiel pauses, a thought occurring to him, "Do I have your approval in claiming Dean as my mate?"

Sam stares at him, "What?"

"Courting him." Castiel explains, feeling a twinge of worry.

Brown eyes warm as Sam looks up at him, "Of course, Cas."

Castiel's lips quirk upwards at the confirmation. It is only appropriate of him to ask permission of Dean's next of kin; at least, according to many of the films he has seen.

The door knob turns.

Two pairs of eyes land on Dean as he enters the room, a styrofoam cup in each hand.

Dean nods his greeting, "You ladies having fun?"

Castiel gets out his reply before Sam has time to leave, "Sam and I were discussing my courtship of you."

Dean blinks slowly in response, managing nothing but a flat, "What."

Which is when Sam makes a swift exit, swiping a coffee from Dean on his way out.

Castiel waits until the door is closed to continue, "I love you-" Dean freezes, his eyes wide, "-and I would like to date you."

It takes Dean a moment to shake himself from his stupor.

"Cas, man," Dean says hoarsely, licking his lips before carrying on, "Do you even know what you're saying?"

Castiel narrows his eyes, materializing before Dean in an instant, "I understand perfectly, Dean."

Dean laughs breathlessly, seeming a bit overwhelmed by the situation, and says, "This better be real, damn it." He throws his cup to the side, neither of them caring for the mess, and draws so close his breath ghosts across Castiel's lips, "'Cause I'll gank that Trickster mofo if it isn't."

(And of _course_ Gabriel has been meddling; it _is_ his way.

Castiel can't find it in himself to be upset.)

And then Dean's lips are on his.

Castiel gasps, his Grace screaming at him to claim Dean, to make him _his_. His right hand slides up Dean's sleeve to rest on the mark he left when he rescued Dean from the Fire, and then Dean is _his_. And he is Dean's.

And maybe Dean won't be able to voice _those_ words for a while (_Cassie_ and _Mom_ and _no one will ever be mine forever _and_ love 'em and leave 'em so they can't leave me_), but Castiel _knows_.

Blue eyes and the sound of wings and pale skin. Innocence and resolve and curiosity and loyalty and _want want want_. Protection and _no one will ever hurt you_ and _mine_. Burgers and feeling like he's important and wanting to feel like that always and wanting to make Castiel feels the same way. And love.

_Love, love, love, love, love._

Castiel _knows_.

And he lets Dean know in return, feeding his own feelings through the connection, allowing his Grace to speak for him. Because he needs Dean to understand (the smell of leather and sweat and _I did it all for you_ and the most important being in existence and love and _forever_).

"Cas." Dean whispers, hand cradling his cheek, "_Cas_."

And Dean _knows_.

* * *

**A/N: This was really sappy, I know. **

**Until next time!**


End file.
